ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
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I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
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This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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