i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
