What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We need a shit load of segways right now
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
