If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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