Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
