You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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