You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize