Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
