that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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