Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Life without a bra equals bliss.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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