piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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