did you get engaged???
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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