I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
