I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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