Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
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