I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i wish my penis had a tongue
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize