i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
