you guys were way drunker than both of me
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
