I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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