i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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