ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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