tell your sister to shave her snatch
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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