i jhust puked up my retainher.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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