Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
