id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
