So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
