He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
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She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
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I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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