Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
