Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
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