No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
