The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
