youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
