My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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