Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
