i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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