you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
worst night to have a conscience
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
