I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
