Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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