laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
