This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
