Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
