Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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