He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
God, I missed his penis.
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