If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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