what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
