I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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