I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
