Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
