That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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