yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
