i permit you to call me
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize