Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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