your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
