She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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