Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
