Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
