fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
