Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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