Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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