she woke up with a sticky ear
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
