...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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