wat bout pragnant strippers??
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
